Arriving at That Next Place

My dear reader,

Even though I don't know who you are, I'm choosing to word this as if we are close friends. I feel you and I are individuals who have known each other for a long time, and you're interested to hear my ideas and my news. I feel you care very deeply about me, and I you. And it's for this reason that I am going to write these blog posts in the form of letters. Letters to you, not announcements to the world at large.

While I would like to inform you about the life storm I've been stumbling through, I don't feel that information applies to this blog. I'd love to complain, point fingers, and scream about life in general. But another more important part of me wants to look ahead and move forward. This is about moving forward, my friend. Please remind me of that if I digress.

To move into a phase of life I never experienced before is scary and exciting all at the same time. I've never been divorced, and I'm not close with many people who are divorced. I don't know all the rules, if there truly are rules. To be thrown--and I do feel that I have been thrown--into a world where I am kind of the only member of my team has had me off balance at times. What am I to do, I have often wondered. How do I still manage to be a good dad and a good example to my boys? It's questions like these and more that have been swirling in my head as I have been preparing to pursue a future that is different from what I ever dreamed. To step out of Life As I Know It and into that ... next place.

Here we go.

THAT NEXT PLACE

You know me. And you know that I have unusual interests. So it shouldn't surprise you that I've chosen to pare down my life and move in to a tiny home on wheels. Feel free to laugh at this if you want to. I don't mind. I've done enough laughing about it too. It's both awesome and absurd, an exciting adventure and a depressing destination. I've been back and forth many times about it, and it holds true to all of it.

I don't live in this house yet, but I've actually been entertaining the idea of going tiny for a while, off and on. The shows on Netflix are fun to entertain, and reading the books about this lifestyle is like reading story books about magic, quests, and adventures. The day to move in is likely a week away if plans hold together this time and there are no more hiccups.

TO MAKE A TINY HOUSE A TINY HOME

How does this happen? It has required me to approach many paradigms from a different angle to arrive a new idea that works. It's been challenging. Here are some lies I've been telling myself, and I'm sure you can relate. These have all been getting in the way of forward thinking.

1. Things make me happy.

2. My house represents my life success and personal importance.

3. Space indoors is required for me to be happy.

4. Space indoors is required for my children to be happy.

5. A house without a foundation is not fit to be a home for my family.

6. I am a guy in financial ruin, about to be divorced, living in a trailer park, and that is bad.

And there are plenty more false beliefs to throw into that bucket. None of them inspire the idea of Home to me.

As I've been mulling it over, there are very few things required of a home. Some may say a home is a warm place on cold days, a cool place on warm days, a place to eat, a place to sleep, and a place to keep clean. I agree with this, but you know me. I require at least a few things more.

Firstly, I needed a place that can support my hobbies. This means a place to store and use my paints and brushes, a place to put my block flute, and a place to bake bread. All of this takes up about four square feet. And if I have 255 square feet--455 if you count the lofts as additional floor space--then I certainly have enough room to bring my hobbies along with me. If I were into biking, I'm sure there would be a place to put a bike. I think that mostly it's about priorities.

I needed a place to put my super awesome bed, and I have that. I also have a fancy platform to put my bed on that raises and lowers my head and feet, and I've found there isn't enough room for that in the tiny home. Even if I took the legs off it, it would take up six inches of vertical space. When you only have 46 inches of vertical space to work with in the loft, every bit counts. So the platform is staying behind. I also have a mini bookshelf I made with my dad years ago that will fit nicely in the loft.

So what about my boys? It's challenging to meet their needs when they are so young and largely unable to voice all their needs. I wanted them to have their own space. I also wanted them to have room for about half their clothes so they wouldn't have to pack a bag when they came to stay with me. And I wanted each of them to have a bed, for them to sleep together, and for none of the beds in the entire tiny house to be transformable furniture.

There is a second loft in the tiny home, and it goes to my boys. There is room for each of them to have their own bed, and they all get to sleep together. In the one closet--the only closet--beneath their loft should be room for all the clothes. We may not get to do a chest of drawers. But I honestly believe it will all fit, and it will all work.

I think the safest and most realistic approach is one of starting out with the bare minimum and seeing if there is room at all for anything else. I know this space is something I largely do not understand. And I think that means I get to treat it with some flexibility. I think that in order for the arrangement of living in the tiny home to be successful, I need to be willing to leave many things behind.

I don't know, friend. What do you think? Is going tiny crazy? What are your thoughts on what needs to be present in order for a house to be a home? Let me know. I'm anxious to hear from you. And I'll keep you informed as the rest unfolds!

Warmly,

D